Uncle Spammy

I was so impressed with the recent bout of spam I’ve received on my blog, that I thought I’d share a bit with you.

Hallo,

mein Name ist 484_chiller und ich bin ein verlogenes Schwein. Ich erzaehle gerne Luegen mit meinem schwulen Freund diav0lo.

Eigentlich haben wir keine Ahnung von irgendwas, aber wir spielen uns gerne auf und tun so, als haetten wir Plan.

Luegen verbreiten wir gerne – wir stehen gerne im Vordergrund. Eingestehen tun wir dies natuerlich nicht.

Translation:

Hello,

my name is 484_chiller, and I’m a lying bastard. I like to tell lies with my gay friend diav0lo.

Actually, we have no idea about anything, but we like to play and pretend as if we had planned it so. We like to spread lies – we like to stand in the foreground.

Admittedly, we don’t really do these things.

This one was also pretty great, I thought:

You wrote that you looking cancer in the uterus is it mortal


The Offer

The end of my autumn internship is rapidly approaching, and I am busily preparing my last big demo of the season. In the meantime, there have been hints and talk of an offer for a full-time position. This has so far not materialized, but this morning I got a call from a recruiter. You can imagine the conversation. I can’t tell you what was said, but I assure you it wasn’t this:

— “Hi, I just had some questions for you that were not clear from your resume.”

— “Well, in my previous job, I made $150k a year and I had a personal slave as a perk.¬†However, I hear your company can’t provide that; so I’m willing to settle for $175k since it seems you can get your own on Craigslist…”